When it comes to the Oval Office, it seems that power isn’t the only thing that seduces. From the early days of powdered wigs to the smartphone era, America’s presidents have proven themselves no less human — or scandalous — than the rest of us. So, darling, pour a stiff drink and let’s dish the dirt on the dirty deeds of the Commanders-in-Chief.

1. Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings: Founding Father, Founding Fiasco
Behind his polished image as a Renaissance man, Jefferson (author of the Declaration of Independence, no less) maintained a long-standing relationship with Sally Hemings, an enslaved woman he owned. DNA testing in the 1990s confirmed what gossip whispered for centuries: Jefferson likely fathered several of Hemings’ children (Gordon-Reed, 1997). Imagine writing about freedom while literally bedding your own hypocrisy.

2. Andrew Jackson’s Marriage Mayhem
Old Hickory wasn’t exactly pure as the driven snow. His wife, Rachel, was technically still married when she and Andrew tied the knot. Though it wasn’t strictly sexual scandal, the accusations of “bigamy” haunted Jackson’s political life and, some say, hastened Rachel’s death (Remini, 1997). A scandal of illicit passion and social ruin!

3. Grover Cleveland: “Ma, Ma, Where’s My Pa?”
Before winning the presidency, Cleveland was sued for child support by Maria Halpin, who claimed he fathered her son. Cleveland paid her off, had her committed to an asylum briefly (yes, really), and placed the child in an orphanage (Summers, 1999). His opponents chanted “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa?” — only for his supporters to shout back, “Gone to the White House, ha ha ha!”

4. Warren G. Harding’s Cabinet… and Clandestine Lovers
Harding’s presidency was a mess (hello, Teapot Dome Scandal), but his personal life was just as sloppy. His long-term affair with Carrie Phillips (the wife of a close friend!) and his other dalliance with Nan Britton, who bore his illegitimate child, painted him as the horniest president in history (Dean, 2004). Britton later wrote The President’s Daughter, detailing their steamy trysts — including some rumored to occur in a White House closet. Closet sex! How presidential.

5. Franklin D. Roosevelt and Lucy Mercer
Even polio couldn’t slow down FDR’s libido. Eleanor Roosevelt discovered his affair with her social secretary, Lucy Mercer, and offered him a choice: end it or lose her (Smith, 2007). Franklin stayed married (politics, dear), but Lucy was by his side — not Eleanor — when he died in 1945. Talk about an awkward ending.

6. John F. Kennedy: America’s Playboy-in-Chief
Where to even begin? JFK’s extramarital activities were legendary, from alleged affairs with Marilyn Monroe (yes, THAT breathy “Happy Birthday” was more loaded than we realized) to supposed liaisons with mob girlfriends like Judith Campbell Exner (Dallek, 2003). Some Secret Service agents claimed his women were “a parade,” with lovers sneaking in and out of the White House like a revolving door. Camelot was a soap opera.

7. Lyndon B. Johnson: Everything’s Bigger in Texas
LBJ didn’t hide his womanizing. In fact, he once allegedly said, “I have had more women by accident than Kennedy ever had on purpose” (Caro, 2002). His aides reportedly shielded numerous affairs, and Lady Bird Johnson had little choice but to accept it. Imagine: legislating civil rights by day, canoodling by night.

8. Bill Clinton: The Blue Dress That Launched a Thousand Headlines
The ’90s taught America what “sexual relations” really meant, thanks to Slick Willy. Clinton’s affair with 22-year-old intern Monica Lewinsky led to his impeachment (though not removal) and permanently tattooed phrases like “stained blue dress” and “it depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is” onto America’s cultural brain (Posner, 1999). Never has a cigar had such sinister implications.

9. Donald Trump: Porn Stars, Playmates, and Payoffs
Before his 2016 election, news broke that Trump allegedly paid hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels to keep quiet about a tryst — while Melania was home with their newborn son (Maggie Haberman, 2022). Add to that a reported affair with Playboy model Karen McDougal and over two dozen allegations of sexual misconduct, and Trump’s presidency was more Playboy Mansion than White House.

10. Joe Biden and the Tara Reade Allegation
Though quieter compared to others, Biden’s sexual scandal came in the form of a 2020 allegation by former Senate aide Tara Reade, who accused him of sexual assault during the early ’90s (Martin & Burns, 2020). Biden denied it, and mainstream media coverage was — let’s say — “cautious,” but the controversy hovered like a bad perfume.

Sex, power, and the presidency — America’s longest-running love triangle. Whether it’s closet rendezvous, secret love children, or scandalous hush money, one thing’s for sure: The White House has seen more action than the pages of a Harlequin novel. And remember, darlings — behind every great man is usually a woman rolling her eyes… or holding a receipt.

References

  • Caro, R. A. (2002). Master of the Senate: The Years of Lyndon Johnson. Alfred A. Knopf.
  • Dallek, R. (2003). An Unfinished Life: John F. Kennedy, 1917–1963. Little, Brown and Company.
  • Dean, J. W. (2004). Warren G. Harding. Times Books.
  • Gordon-Reed, A. (1997). Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings: An American Controversy. University of Virginia Press.
  • Haberman, M. (2022). Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America. Penguin Press.
  • Martin, J., & Burns, A. (2020). “Tara Reade’s Allegation Against Joe Biden,” The New York Times.
  • Posner, G. (1999). An Affair of State: The Investigation, Impeachment, and Trial of President Clinton. Random House.
  • Remini, R. V. (1997). Andrew Jackson and the Course of American Freedom, 1822–1832. HarperCollins.
  • Smith, J. E. (2007). FDR. Random House.
  • Summers, A. (1999). The Arrogance of Power: The Secret World of Richard Nixon. Viking.