By Brayden “SkullZ4Lyfe” M.
8th Grade Social Studies (Mr. D says I’m “concerning”)
Due: Technically last week

So one day I was just sitting there eating Hot Cheetos and losing badly at Fortnite when I saw this post about “Occupy 2.5.” And I was like, “OMG what even is that, a parking lot protest?” 🤡

But then I did some serious investigative journalism (a.k.a. 6 minutes on a Reddit thread), and I discovered something shocking:

THEY ARE ACTUALLY SAYING TRUE THINGS AND STUFF.

Like, not even just regular true. Uncomfortably true. Like when your mom finds your internet search history and you pretend it was a science project. THAT LEVEL.

So naturally, I had to troll.

Because that’s what trolls do when:

  1. You hit a nerve (like when my dad asked why I follow someone named “Just Another Friendly Occupier” and I said it was for school),
  2. You mess up the Official Government Narrative™,
  3. You tell the kind of truth that makes people do that awkward wheeze laugh that ends in existential dread.

I posted something like “lol this movement has 3 people and a cat” and BAM—nothing happened.
Because they don’t scream.

They build.
They speak in seven languages.
They reference actual citations.
And it makes my brain hurt.

Also, I think I got shadowbanned on Bluesky for calling them “well-organized and suspiciously literate.” WHICH IS FACTUALLY CORRECT.

Mr. D says censorship is bad but also took away my phone when I read this essay out loud.
So I guess I’m basically a political prisoner now.

Anyway, in conclusion:

I troll because I’m scared of people who actually know what they’re doing.
Occupy 2.5 scares me.
And that means they’re probably important.

#WakeUpSheeple
#AlsoCanIGetExtraCredit

RED INK COMMENT:

Brayden — while this technically meets the word count, I am once again both impressed and deeply disturbed. This reads like satire wearing a tinfoil hat… but accidentally making sense.

Please see me after class. And for the love of all things sacred, stop citing Reddit as a source.
Grade: B+ (because I’m afraid of encouraging you more than this)