🗽Occupy 2.5 | June 23, 2025 – 23:00 Sidebar Drop

Application for National Representation
From the desk of: Miss Liberty Rising
To: United States Department of Monumental Proportions
Subject: Application for Pose Model – Enhanced Liberty Upgrade
Attachments: 1 (cosplay photo)

Dear Esteemed Bureaucrats of Taste and Steel,

Yes, we know this might be a bit poor taste—but hey, it’s Trump month, so why not lean in and turn up the volume?

I humbly submit my résumé, headshot, and full-body cosplay proof of concept in consideration for the role of Pose Model for the newly discussed upgrades to Lady Liberty.

As a professional cosplayer, influencer, and licensed Zumba instructor, I believe I bring the kind of patriotic curvature required to fully embody “Freedom, But Make It Fabulous.”

My credentials include:

  • Finalist: Miss Freedom Thicc 2024
  • Voiceover work for Statue of Libido VR
  • 1.2M followers on LibertyTok
  • Owner of a certified torch-grip strength of 220 PSI

At the risk of being accused of being misogynistic by the misandry, I believe it’s time for America’s favorite symbol to stop just welcoming tired, poor masses—and start inspiring them to hit the gym and vote hot.

I fully understand the symbolic weight this role carries. Literally—I’ve already done CrossFit in heels to prepare for the pedestal.

Enclosed is a render from our art department (shout-out to Sketchy Dave in Conceptual Mischief) showing the direction I’d like to take with the form, attire, and general vibes. I’ve ensured historical accuracy by retaining the original crown, robe draping, and expression of “stern but flirty defiance.”

In a time when liberty feels up for sale, why not give her some new assets?

Yours in satire and serious gains,
Miss Liberty Rising (aka Cynthia “Torch Bae” Gibbons)
Because freedom shouldn’t sag.