Let’s all take a moment to thank the modern liberal (or Neo-liberal) establishment—for turning imperial slaughter into a TED Talk and selling it back to us in soothing tones of “shared values.” Because nothing says peace like a bipartisan missile strike wrapped in rainbow branding.
For decades, we were told it was the Republicans who were the war hawks. And sure, they strutted around in camo while launching regime-change orgies like frat bros on spring break. But the liberals? Oh, the liberals. They showed up to the war crimes gala in pressed suits and used gender-inclusive language while authorizing drone strikes.
That’s how you launder empire. You don’t stop the killing. You just make it polite.
Step 1: Call It “Intervention”
Liberals perfected the art of war euphemism. Bush said “shock and awe.” Obama said “kinetic military action.” It’s the same policy—just fewer syllables and more NPR donors. You bomb a hospital? Call it a tragic anomaly. Drone a wedding? It’s “counter-terrorism.” Topple a government? “Promoting democracy.”
The Democrats didn’t end Bush’s wars. They upgraded them. With better PR and cleaner logos.
“The U.S. is still intervening globally—not for oil or empire—but to support ‘freedom.’”
— Some grad student with a Biden bumper sticker
Step 2: Weaponize Identity
How do you justify giving $800 billion a year to the Pentagon while kids can’t afford lunch? Easy: slap a pride flag on a missile and tweet about it from the State Department account.
Under Obama, we didn’t just bomb Libya—we did it while quoting Maya Angelou. Under Hillary, we sold weapons to Saudi Arabia and called it “strategic diplomacy.” Under Biden, we arm Ukraine while ignoring Gaza—and somehow, MSNBC still calls this progress.
We’re supposed to clap because the war cabinet looks like America. The problem? They kill like every administration before them—just with more HR training.
Step 3: Make It About “Stability”
Every empire needs a bedtime story. For the Romans, it was Pax Romana. For liberals, it’s “stability.” You know—when the U.S. rigs elections, props up dictators, or trains death squads. All for the sake of global balance. Kind of like a mafia boss telling you he only broke your kneecaps to preserve neighborhood harmony.
“We’re spreading democracy!”
— Translation: We’re spreading weapons, coups, and surveillance contracts.
It’s not peacekeeping. It’s power maintenance with a glossy finish.
Step 4: Silence the Dissenters
Ask Daniel Hale what happens when you expose the drone program. Ask Julian Assange what happens when you publish war logs. Ask Reality Winner what “transparency” really means.
Obama didn’t just prosecute more whistleblowers than any president before him—he made it cool. Slick. Tidy. The Espionage Act got more play than the Constitution. But don’t worry—he also hosted Kendrick Lamar at the White House, so it’s fine.
Step 5: Tell the Public They’re “Too Naïve” to Understand
Liberals love nothing more than condescension. You say, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t be building 800 military bases while our bridges collapse?” And they say, “It’s complicated.”
No, it’s not.
They just don’t want to admit they’re wearing the same jackboots—just under a blazer instead of a MAGA hat.
The Final Rinse: Pretend It’s Not Happening
The biggest trick liberal empire ever pulled? Making you believe it’s not empire at all.
They call it diplomacy. Partnership. International cooperation. But you peel back the curtain and it’s Raytheon contracts, resource grabs, and broken nations.
This isn’t about safety. This is about dominance. And it doesn’t matter if the pilot is a Republican cowboy or a liberal Ivy League lawyer. The bombs still fall.
Conclusion: Same Empire, Softer Tone
This is your wake-up call, kids. If you’re still clapping for “normalcy” while the same war machine grinds up the globe, you’re not resisting fascism—you’re accessorizing it.
Liberals don’t stop the empire. They Febreze it.
And we’re done pretending otherwise.
🧷 Sources
Bacevich, A. J. (2008). The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism. Metropolitan Books.
Chomsky, N. (2016). Who Rules the World? Metropolitan Books.
Greenwald, G. (2013). No Place to Hide: Edward Snowden, the NSA, and the U.S. Surveillance State. Metropolitan Books.
Scahill, J. (2013). Dirty Wars: The World is a Battlefield. Nation Books.
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