By Jericho Jake Slade

In the ongoing saga of modern life, one thing’s become abundantly clear: women are tired of men’s mental health issues. Like a fly in the ointment, the nagging, the reminders, the “You need to talk about your feelings” chants echo from every corner—social media, dinner tables, therapist offices. And while well-meaning, all this nagging is about as effective as trying to fix a leaky faucet with a hammer.

Let’s get one thing straight: men aren’t a bunch of emotional five-year-olds who just need a gentle nudge to open up. No, sir. Mental health is a complex, personal matter. It’s about desire—men have to want to get better. You can’t wave a magic wand, drop a pamphlet, or deliver a lecture about “reasons to be healthy” and expect magic. Men are not programmed to respond to nagging like obedient puppies. The truth of the matter is, mental health isn’t a problem society can fix for men; it’s something men have to decide they want for themselves.

Now, I’m not saying women don’t have a role to play. They do. But there’s a fine line between encouragement and nagging. You want men to open up? Make it safe, make it welcoming, but don’t turn it into a sideshow of guilt and blame. Because, at the end of the day, nobody—woman or man—likes to be told they’re broken or need fixing. That doesn’t motivate; it alienates.

Women’s frustration is understandable. Men’s mental health issues can be as invisible as a ghost in the night. When a man is struggling—dealing with depression, anxiety, or just the weight of everyday life—it’s easy to dismiss his silence as laziness or stubbornness. But it’s not. It’s often a fear of appearing weak or a belief that he should “man up.” That’s a cultural problem, not a personal flaw. And nagging rarely change that belief.

Here’s the inconvenient truth: men, in many cases, need to *see* the benefit of change. They need a spark—a reason—beyond just “It’s good for you” or “It’s what everyone’s doing.” They need to want it. That’s where the terrain gets tricky.

People don’t change because they’re told to; they change because they see the payoff. Want a man to seek help? Show him the benefits—more energy, stronger relationships, better work performance, peace of mind. Help him see that getting mentally healthier isn’t about weakness. It’s about strength—strength to face the world more resilient, more capable.

Additionally, it’s crucial to recognize that mental health professionals, internists, and general practitioners are often dismissive or unhelpful when it comes to men’s mental health issues. This dismissiveness is all too real in US society. While we might expect too much from our medical community, they are also a significant part of the problem. Many men encounter healthcare providers who underestimate or ignore their struggles, which can reinforce feelings of shame or hopelessness. Until the medical system actively acknowledges and addresses this bias, men will continue to suffer in silence.

Women, if you want to truly help, stop nagging about what men should do. Instead, listen. Be patient. Show understanding without judgment. Because, in the end, no one’s coming to save a drowning man unless he’s willing to grab the life raft himself.

Men, it’s on you, too. You don’t get a free pass. Nobody’s going to fix your mental health but you. It’s your mind, your health, your life. Nobody else can want it more than you do.

So, let’s stop with the finger-pointing and the “You need to do this” speeches. Respect the process. Respect the struggle. Men will seek help when they’re ready—if they see real reasons to. Until then, nagging will remain just noise, and mental health will remain a problem society keeps talking about, but never really solving.

Jericho Jake Slade