There are few things more predictable in American politics than Donald “Junior-G-Man” Trump waking up, grabbing his phone, and blasting out another unhinged Truth Social tantrum. But even by his subterranean standards, his November 20, 2025 meltdown — demanding the arrest of six Democratic members of Congress for reminding the U.S. military to follow legal orders — achieves a new depth of absurdity. It reads like a rejected script from a bargain-bin political thriller, only without the self-awareness, editing, or intelligence one might expect from, say, an actual G-man.

The six lawmakers in question — veterans, intelligence officers, and constitutional grown-ups — released a video reminding service members that their oath is to the Constitution, not to an orange-tinted authoritarian with a fragile ego (Slotkin et al., 2025). Trump, naturally, interpreted this as sedition because he hears “follow legal orders” as a direct threat to his personal dictatorship. And why wouldn’t he? He’s spent the better part of a decade believing the U.S. government is just a larger version of the Trump Organization, except harder to bankrupt.

Trump’s response? A foaming, all-caps meltdown accusing these legislators of “SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL” and demanding they be “ARRESTED AND PUT ON TRIAL” (Trump, 2025). His chorus of loyal Trumpets immediately chimed in, as reliably as a wind-up monkey with cymbals, calling for everything from arrests to executions — because nothing says “patriotic constitutional conservatism” quite like fantasizing about killing elected officials for telling soldiers not to break the law (Miller, 2025).

Legal experts, meanwhile, reminded America that the Sedition Act was repealed in 1920, that congressional speech is protected, and that disagreeing with the president is not — shockingly — a capital crime (Jones, 2025). But MAGA legal theory operates on a simple principle: If Trump is mad, it must be illegal. If Trump is very mad, it must be treason. And if Trump uses all caps, well, break out the firing squad.

This entire episode proves — yet again — that the man who once suggested injecting bleach and advised nuking hurricanes is not only unfit for office, but unfit to operate heavy machinery. The Founders feared exactly this type of tyrant. They just didn’t anticipate he’d communicate exclusively in typo-laden shrieks at 9:35 in the morning.

We usually ignore Trump’s rants. This one, however, is a perfect example of his presidential style.