🎄🎁 Tiz the season to be giving the Misandry their Liberty.

Just in time for the holidays, Occupy25.com proudly unveils the ultimate collectible for patriots, pranksters, and those who think statues could use a little less modesty and a little more motion-activated sass.

Introducing:

🗽 The Ronkette™ SideBoob Statue of Liberty Collectible

💥 Because modesty is for monarchies.

This ain’t your grandma’s Lady Liberty (unless your grandma’s on LibertyTok). Designed by the underground satirical powerhouse Ronkette™ Collectibles, this provocative pedestal queen lifts her torch, bares her soul, and dares to flaunt freedom where the sun does shine.

🔥 Features include:

  • Three scandalously patriotic styles:
    • Stars & Strips Teenykini™
    • Bronze Thicc
    • Freedom Green (Just the Paint, Not the Pants)
  • Light-up Torch (also a vape mod)
  • Motion-activated sound chip: “You lookin’ at liberty, sugar?”
  • Certificate of Satirical Authenticity (signed by Cynthia “Torch Bae” Gibbons herself)

🧼 Ships in a discreet box labeled: “Freedom Tools – Do Not Restrain”
🚫 Not sold in stores. Not approved by any congressional sideboob subcommittee (yet).

🎁 Holiday Bonus:

Order by December 19 and receive a free bumper sticker that proudly proclaims:
“I Pledge Allegiance to the SideBoob.”
(Perfect for office parties, awkward family dinners, or constitutional cosplay nights.)

⚠️ Warning: May offend puritans, fundamentalists, or those whose patriotism can’t handle curves.

Because liberty shouldn’t sag, hide, or apologize.
Because satire is a civic duty.
Because the gift for the man who has the world by the—uh hum—isn’t a tie. It’s Ronkette™.

🛒 Order now exclusively at Occupy25.com
📞 Or call our toll-free hotline: 1-800-TORCHBAE

Disclaimer: The Ronkette™ SideBoob Statue of Liberty collectible, all styles referenced, associated products, and promotional materials are intended purely for satirical, parody, and humorous purposes. No physical products are currently for sale, in production, or otherwise available for purchase, resale, or shipping. Any resemblance to actual statues, liberty icons, congressional hearings, or legislative subcommittees is entirely coincidental and/or a work of comedic exaggeration. Ronkette™ is a fictional brand. Offers, phone numbers, bumper stickers, and collectibles are non-functional figments of the imagination, brought to you by the fine folks at Occupy25.com. Void where fun is prohibited.