By Just Another Friendly Observer
Dateline: 18 December 2025
Okay, so like—picture this, babes and brahs: it’s 2 a.m., the group chat is feral, someone just dropped a meme about Chinese Coast Guard boats looking like knockoff Playmobil toys, and suddenly one of the olds is like, “Hey, we should totally build a civilian PT boat fleet.”
And instead of laughing and going to sleep like a normal mammal, everyone went, “OMG yessss let’s fix geopolitics with vibes and plywood!”
Smash-cut to:
Months of spreadsheets, drawings, arguments about hull shapes, dudes watching YouTube videos titled “ENGINEERING A WARSHIP?!?! (I’m 12)”… and everybody mainlining caffeine like their cardiologist died years ago.
The pitch was so simple it bordered on cosmic comedy:
Build mini PT boats.
Run them around the West Philippine Sea.
Annoy China into world peace.
Like, sure babe, and I’m gonna summon a boyfriend with perfect emotional availability by lighting a Bath & Body Works candle. DREAM BIG.
But the enthusiasm? Ridiculous.
People were out here acting like this was Top Gun but with civilians who need lower-back braces. Discord servers. Diagrams. Arguments over torpedo weights like anyone was actually gonna fire one. Tiny wind turbines. Solar panels. A design doc written at 3 a.m. and powered entirely by spite.
And look, no shade—this is Peak Human Energy. This is what we DO. We get bored and invent nonsense. We get patriotic and immediately overengineer it. We get mad at maritime bullies and decide we’re gonna fix it with a fleet of glorified Go-Karts of the Sea™.
But reality? Girl.
Reality walked in wearing Crocs and said:
“Sweetie, no.
You do not have the budget, the clearance, the political backing, the personnel, the supply chain, or the sanity for this.”
So the project didn’t sink dramatically.
It just… evaporated.
Like the final fizz in a warm energy drink left in a plastic cup overnight.
But honestly?
The fact that this fever dream ever existed is sort of iconic.
Because behind all the memes and chaos was this stubborn, adorable belief that regular people could still build something bold. That creativity could matter. That maybe—just maybe—some wild, DIY idea could check a global superpower and make life a little safer for the underdogs.
And that?
That’s the part worth remembering.
Sometimes humans try dumb things.
Sometimes humans try beautiful things.
And every once in a while, they’re the same thing.
For more serious news, visit WPS News at https://wps.news
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